iPhone Girl Goes International!

Ever since this cute, perky, Chinese worker at the FoxConn Factory had her picture snapped, a picture which went out on a customer's phone instead of being deleted as per standard practice, she immediately rose to international fame. The media has gone on a wild feeding frenzy trying to locate this girl for an interview. At this point her identity and whereabouts are unkown. On a related note, Apple denies rumors that they will produce a pink iPhone in her honor, dubbed either PiPhone or ChiPhone, specifically for the Chinese market. If you have any information that can lead to locating this girl, please let us know. The world awaits!

Notice

Mandatory posting for all offices.

Generation Y

In his 1991 novel Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated Culture, Douglas Coupland coined the term Generation X to place his generation squarely in the cultural timeline. In response to his Generation X tag, the media jumped in to term the next Generation Y. The imagination impaired run rampant. At any rate, if we would relent and give in to this consensual idiocy by jumping on the “oh, must be generation Y then,” bandwagon, let’s at least be accurate in our portrayal. If the generation between 1980 and 1995 is to be called Generation Y, let us clarify: not Generation Y, but Generation WHY?, second but not inferior to Generation WHAT? Seems today’s parents are more than familiar with these particular two generations. Of course, if you wish to go with Generation Y, the caricature rendering sums it up nicely.

Honey I'm Shrinking!!

Elmer kept telling his wife he was shrinking, shrinking. Of course, she did not believe him and thought he was making a crude reference to a topic not for polite company. Three days later the truth of his words were all too clear. Gone is Elmer, victim of terminal shrinkage, leaving to his wife the boots and always present hat she despised.

Squirrel Cake for One

When a squirrel dives in to take a chomp of your wedding cake, it could be seen as a cute photo op for the wild-rodent loving community. Seen as an omen it could signal nothing good. Given the steadily holding divorce statistics, it would seem this squirrel and his brood are hard at work spreading the cute photo moment that is in fact the voice of doom.

BFF on the Prowl

Lance's girlfriend Lisa (pictured left) adamantly insisted that his friends were nothing but nose picking morons. Bringing along her new breasts for this picture, Tanya (before putting the moves on BFF Lisa's boyfriend) had a friend snap this picture to prove the point. What Lance does not know is Tanya, formerly Tony, is not a miracle of nature but a spectacle of science. What Tanya does not know is that Lisa knows Tanya's secret and is willing to let Lance find out for himself because she is not as oblivious as she pretends. Oh the twisted webs we weave.

Fear Factor II

Olympian athletes are privileged to receive all the exemplary gourmet treats China has to offer. Along with each portion an assortment of dipping sauces is included as well as the ever present de rigeur fortune cookie, each including the fine print caution "To refuse foreign generosity is to instigate international incident." Can anyone say "Fear Factor?"

Rubber Man to the Rescue!

Hearing that Warner Bros. Pictures was discussing the challenges of turning more DC properties into movies besides just the "Batman" and "Superman" franchises, server cum aspiring actor Turner Hedround adopted his character Rubber Man and began making the rounds. Unfortunately, Hollywood moguls did not get the word before he suffocated.

McDonalds is Evil

Since the immense negative press and image sullying effect of Morgan Spurlock's Super Size Me, McDonalds has been on an aggressive "re-imaging" campaign to convince the consumerite public of their continuing good intentioned and altogether altruistic aim. Somehow, among the flurry of ideas coming from their marketing department some seemed to misinterpret the objective.

Hooked on Phonics

For some, Hooked on Phonics is not enough. In these cases, Idiot's Guide to Intelligence is imperative.

Billboard Misfire

Driving north on California freeway 395 offers many spectacular picture opportunities of landscapes and wildlife. The picture shown here is not one of them. Notable only for its entirely unclear message, it poses for the driver a bestial and moral dilemma: How hungry, thirsty, and in need of gas am I and what on earth could the pictured baleen woman have to do with this? In most cases we can only hope fear wins out. In others it would seem fate holds play.

Florida Sandman Discovered

Out on a morning stroll in the surrounding swamplands, Jasper Tallywhacker was unprepared for the powerful nauseating stench that assaulted his nostrils, curled his eyebrows, and had his stomach aching for explosion. This horrendous moment was soon joined by the alleged source of said stench: A Skunk-Ape. Also known as the Florida Sandman, the most consistent characteristic ascribed to skunk-apes is the smell. It is said that they have a rather extreme odor that is nauseating. An egregious stench such as this was typically ignored by Jasper as the emanations from his wretchedly unwashed underbritches. But sensing that his destiny was upon him, he whipped out his trusty Piggly Wiggly toss-away camera and snapped away.

Known around town as the "trickster monkey," detractors dismiss his "find" as just another of old drunk Jasper’s cornball tricks. Others insist it is simply a picture of his stupid brain challenged brother, Ennis, in a cheap skunky mask. Since nobody knows for certain, the swamplands are avoided just in case. Jasper meanwhile enjoys his celebrity and the perks that come with it, most notably the swarm of Skunk-Ape groupies. “Life is good then it gets better,” says Jasper. “Whou’lda knowed it’d be me to find that dang ol’ Skunk-Ape? Yep, that’s my story and I’m stickin to it!” A groupie moves in for a quick snuggle. Yes, life is good.